Ten Commandments


POSTED 1-15-07

Moodie goes biblical on fantasy owners with her latest round of advice. But instead of raining down hellfire, she threatens naysayers with a far crueler fate — last place. Here are her Ten Commandments of Fantasy Sports for women — and for men who have no clue.

Thou Shalt Know the Rules
Different leagues have different rules, especially for scoring and roster filling. Review your leagues rules prior to draft day because different rules may affect your drafting strategy.

Thou Shalt Cheat
Alright, you know the devil inside you has been tempted your entire life to cheat. This is your chance! Use your league's tools to study fantasy stats, listen to the experts talk about their drafting strategies and pay attention to order in experts' mock drafts. Then make a cheat sheet so all your carefully crafted drafting strategies can be easily accessible during your league's draft.

Covet Thy Neighbor's Draft Strategies
Try and figure out the other owners' drafting strategies. Find out who they are drafting and why. Use your powers of persuasion. Play dumb. Most women are already professionals at this so this should be easy. On draft day, they won't know what hit them. This is especially devastating if you own the pick ahead of them.

Thou Shalt Have Many Gods
On your cheat sheet, make sure you cover all positions and list both the positions and your player selections in order of importance. Don't be discouraged if you don't get your first pick; many different players can have equal fantasy value. This is business.

Honor Thy Backs and Thy Big Bats
In football, it's usually a good idea to draft a running back in the first round. Running backs typically put up the biggest fantasy numbers on any team because they get the ball. Baseball is just as obvious. Pick the five-tool stars in the first round; the boys that can hit and steal bases and have the best all-around play. And in all leagues, try to stay away from those that have been injury prone. It's really tough to win when your first-round draft pick has a season-ending injury during the first week of the season.

Remember Draft Day to Keep it Holy
Don't forget draft day. Mark it on your calendar with a big red circle. Trust me, you want to draft. Don't use the automated draft option to pick for you. You won't be too happy if you end up with a second-rate team because you forget or are too busy to draft. (Most of my basketball league can attest to that).

Thou Shalt Not Marry for Looks
Don't pick a player because you think he is cute or because you like his uniform. Unfortunately, good looks and pretty colors don't necessarily make for a fantasy sports star. (Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. See Tom Brady.)

Thou Shalt Marry for Money
If stats look foreign to you, there is one language all Americans understand: money. While good looks and pretty uniforms do not equate to fantasy studliness, high salaries and good fantasy play do. Although it's not a foolproof system (say, Kerry Wood), a player who makes a high salary in any league will most likely perform in the fantasy circuit. Real managers and owners (or their hired minions) spend much more time researching these players than you will ever spend researching for your fantasy draft. So you can trust if they think a player should earn big bucks, he can most likely put up big numbers for your fantasy team.

Thou Shalt Commit
The only thing worse than losing in fantasy sports, is beating a team where the owner hasn't changed his lineup in weeks. OK, I'm lying, it's nice to win regardless. But come on! When you decide to join a fantasy league, be sure you can commit to your team for the ENTIRE season. Don't give up because you got shafted in the draft or because your No. 1 draft pick got injured halfway through the season. You'll take the fun out of it for the other owners and you may end up having an adverse effect on the playoffs.

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery
This one is important, because sometimes the thrill of winning with your fantasy team can warp a person's mind. If you have lived and breathed the Dolphins ever since the first day your daddy put you in a baby Marino jersey, don't let your fantasy team make you lose sight of that allegiance. If one of your fantasy players scores a touchdown against the Fins, please don’t cheer. No matter how much money is at stake, fantasy sports should never compromise the integrity of fandom.


Rebecca is a New York based entertainment and intellectual property attorney, an agressive fantasy player and an avid Knicks and Jets fan. Got a question for Answer Gal? E-mail her at: answergal@fantasysportsupdate.com

Quote of the Week

"They showed no class, and maybe that comes from the head coach."

—San Diego running back LaDainian Tomlinson on New England's victory celebration.


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