First, a look at the no-nos for naming your team. Basically you want to avoid anything boring or obvious. Start with existing team names, i.e., "The Mets" or "The Red Sox." Could you be any less creative?
You want to develop something tough, something that says you're not afraid to mix your eggs with their sperm. Here are a few suggestions:
TAUNT
A great naming strategy is to think of a name that will piss off your opponents every time they see it. Although it is frowned upon on the playground, taunting is not only welcomed in fantasy sports, it's encouraged.
One of my personal favorites is any name with "worst nightmare" tacked on to it. Try using one of your fantasy opponent's names and add "worst nightmare" at the end. For example: "J. Andrew's Worst Nightmare." You also can use the name of a rival player: "Derek Jeter's Worst Nightmare."
Another idea is to use your favorite Major League team's rival in your name. For example, "Not the Yankees" or "Way Better than the Braves."
Or in a prize league, names like "Easy Money" or "Guaranteed $300" are always funny.
You could also utilize your feminine mystique by naming your team something like "Every Man's Fantasy."
BE SMART
This next group of names are my favorite, because not only are they funny and clever, but they show that even though you don't grow facial hair or have anything dangling between your legs, you may still know a thing or two about the game. Here are a few, feel free to plagiarize:
"Hasn't Brought Home the Bacon Since 1986"
"Ms. October"
Or wait until after your draft to name your team and use one of your player's names in a play on words:
"Reyes of Light"
"Shut Your Pujols"
"Honey Nut Ichiro"
"Jeters Never Win"
"Wright as Rain"
"Arroyo con Pollo"
''No Suppan for You"
PLAY TOUGH
Lastly, feel free to support Girl Power when naming your team. Using the names of powerful, intimidating or bitchy women in your team's name will give your team a frightful persona that says "Don't Mess With Me." For example:
"Xena's Warrior Princesses"
"Condoleezza's Republicans"
"Hillary's Cabinet"
"Lil Kim's Blockmates"
That being said, although you want to dazzle your opponents with a witty team name, if you are confident about your fantasy ability, it really doesn't matter what you name your team. My advice, spend less time on crafting the perfect name and more time thinking of ways to make your opponents cry like the little girls they really are.




