POSTED 11-13-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

Let the Barry Bonds bidding begin. What team will stoop so low as to sign the reigning home run king? After 15 years in San Francisco, management wants no part of the steroids media circus Bonds attracts. He can forget about a job in the NL; balky knees, a weak arm and lack of mobility make him a defensive liability. What about the AL? Surely some desperate American League team can platoon Bonds at the DH and reap the rewards of his .480 on-base percentage. But then they'd have to ignore the possible perjury charges he faces this winter in a federal steroids investigation. That and the press' instant demonization of the lucky team that wins the Bonds bidding war. Let's face it. He has lost all credibility. Not a month after breaking Hank Aaron's all-time home run record, a bold fan defaced the home run ball in question with an asterisk and donated it to Cooperstown without a second thought. Bonds is more than just a steroid scapegoat. He represents everything wrong in baseball today. From his bloated statistics to his bloated head, there's just something inherently dishonest about him. And any team that extends Bonds a roster invitation is welcoming this dishonesty into their clubhouse. So, are there any takers? Going once, going twice...gone!