POSTED 3-26-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

So baseball's steroid problem must have been a bad dream, right? How else do you explain the triumphant return of Sammy Sosa after a one-year absence and petulant Barry Bonds tracking down Hank Aaron's home run record like some kind of stalker. That's the scenario when the curtain draws open on another baseball season on Sunday. All the scandal — for the record, Sosa was never implicated, but come on! — that's engulfed the game going on three seasons now and yet the biggest perpetrators are still front and center stage? WTF! At this rate, Major League Soccer will surpass baseball in popularity. If you can't be true to yourself, then you lose all credibility. Poor Joe Jackson might not have thrown the 1919 World Series, but baseball had the guts then to sacrifice some of its biggest names to shake itself free of scandal. Where's the integrity today? Gone, just as Hammering Hank's home run record will soon be. It's more than a sad statement on the game. It's an indictment of American culture.