POSTED 3-5-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

So Derek and Alex don't hold sleepovers any more. Grow up folks! Apparently New York Yankees teammates Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez have already. They enjoyed a close relationship a decade ago when both were young, dumb and full of — well, you know. But the friendship has cooled. Now they are simply co-workers. Anyone who holds a job and must deal with the neighbor in the next cubicle — or fell out with a high school buddy — knows the feeling. Why the big play in the New York media? OK, the sleepovers raise an eyebrow but the revelation that those days are over? WTF! That's a good thing. Clearly there's a split. UPDATE! would like to see the two duke it out and get the animosity out of their systems. A fine alternative is a competitive work environment. A-Rod put it bluntly to a horde of reporters: "We have a good working relationship. I cheer very hard for him. He cheers hard for me. And most importantly, we're both trying to win a world championship." If I'm a Yankees fan, that's all I need to hear.