POSTED 4-23-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

There's nothing worse for a fantasy owner than the sight of your first- or second-round pick off to a horrendous start. Or worse, your franchise player is hurt. That's especially true early in the season when hope blinds fantasy GMs from seeing even their worst draft-day mistakes. There are an awful lot of sick owners out there right about now. So many established baseball stars are not off to their customary starts that UPDATE! wonders why there hasn't been more spats of random violence on the evening news. These starting pitchers alone are sitting on the DL right now: Randy Johnson, Mike Hampton, Matt Clement, Kerry Wood, Wade Miller, Cliff Lee, Rodrigo Lopez, Byung-Hyun Kim, Kenny Rogers, Josh Johnson, Brandon Backe, Jason Jennings, Jason Schmidt, Francisco Liriano, Pedro Martinez, Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, Chien-Ming Wang, Rich Harden, Esteban Loaiza, Felix Hernandez, Chris Carpenter, Mark Mulder, Jamey Wright and John Thomson. WTF! That's a whole lot of strikeouts and wins flushed down the fantasy toilet. UPDATE! feels your pain. Our advice? Get busy working the waiver wire boys.