POSTED 5-21-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

Ricky Williams just turned 30. That's a prime sign for NFL running backs to start thinking retirement. The game has a way of brutalizing running backs like a New York taxi cab. In fact, Williams just announced he will retire from football. But everybody knows that if Williams bears any scars from the game, they are self-inflicted. Another positive marijuana test? WTF, Ricky! You gotten two head coaches fired, left the Miami Dolphins in a bind — twice — and angered owners in countless keeper leagues. Williams enjoyed four straight 1,000-yard seasons from 2000-03 and played just NFL season since, when he averaged 4.4 yards per carry as Ronnie Brown's sidekick in 2005. Clearly there's gas left in the tank. But no one cares anymore. Even new Miami coach Cam Cameron was reserved in his hopes for Ricky before another failed test nixed any possibility of Williams' return. If there's a special place in sports purgatory for the Darryl Strawberrys and Jeff Allisons of the world, can't-miss stars who let drugs derail their careers, then Williams belongs. Too bad this will be his legacy instead of the countless other characteristics — and feats (Heisman Trophy anyone?) — that made him a possible spokesman for his generation.