POSTED 7-3-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

Baseball is a numbers game. Roger Clemens won his 350th game. The Yankees are 11 games out of first place. Melky Cabrera is batting .345 in day games. And, as of last night, Alex Rodriguez is facing 15 days on the DL. For a franchise that consistently fields a squad of perennial all-stars and marquee names, this little number just happens to be a big deal. Despite owning the league's highest payroll, the Yankees have won just three of their last 10 and remain stuck in a five-team race for the Wild Card spot. The thought of losing A-Rod, the hands down AL MVP, for more than two weeks is enough to send the Bronx into a near frenzy. The Bronx is burning! Let's face it, other than a brief mid-June rally when the Yankees reeled off a 10-game winning streak, they have played mind-bogglingly horrible baseball. In fact, it's been so bad in the Bronx that A-Rod's wife, Cynthia, is stealing more headlines than her husband has bases. Paparazzi caught Alex entering a Toronto elevator with a stripper, and then his wife showed up to the Stadium wearing an expletive-laden shirt while toting along her 2-year-old child. WTF! The latest incident prompted an immediate meeting between GM Brian Cashman and the Rodriguezes, sparking a media-happy flurry that resulted in more negative press and off-field distractions for a team that needs to focus on one thing — baseball. Cynthia Rodriguez has now become more familiar, and probably more popular, than some of the guys that fill up the Yankees woefully mediocre bullpen. Now the Yankees are heading into the All-Star Break looking to make a dent, however slight, in the Wild Card standings. Remember though: baseball is a numbers game. A-Rod can opt out of his contract after this season, and the Yankees don't want to give up his 40-plus home runs, 120 RBI and .300 average for nothing. So now the number games really begin — who will take on A-Rod's $25 million contract and make a push for the pennant.