POSTED 7-9-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

By now everyone's heard about the alleged dog-fighting ring occupying Michael Vick's property in Virginia. Vick has claimed no connection or knowledge of any illegal activities at his Surrey estate, but a report obtained by the Associated Press on Friday details such insane perversities that it would be a miracle if Vick had no prior knowledge of the going-on's in his own backyard. Forget the 54 pit bulls confiscated from the property by the Feds, an April investigation turned up a 'rape stand' used to forcibly mate dogs, modified treadmills and reports that thousands of dollars were changing hands as canines — shipped from as far away as Texas — were starved and then forced to fight weekly. According to the documents, if the losing dog didn't die it was sometimes put to death by strangulation, drowning, electrocution or gunshot. WTF! Vick contends that he rarely visited the property and that relatives were taking advantage of his good will, but does anybody really believe him? Who would have thought that Marcus Vick would be the poster child of the family! So, what does this mean for Vick? Probably trouble. ESPN reported that Vick was not among those reported to be indicted, but it doesn't matter. Despite avoiding charges an ongoing investigation is still occurring and his already beleaguered reputation has been further tarnished — even if he is beyond the reach of the NFL conduct policy. In 2004, the Falcons extended Vick's contract with a $130 million, 10-year deal in the hopes that he would become the cornerstone of their franchise. Now their hoping that their future franchise doesn't get stuck in jail. In the past few weeks, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, Fred Evans and Bryant McNeal have all been arrested. Heck, even sports broadcaster and former All-Pro lineman Bill Maas got nabbed the other day. That's quite a list already, and UPDATE! hasn't even mentioned any players suspended for violating the NFL's drug policy. If the 2007 season can grab as many headlines as the offseason has garnered, then this season is sure to be a quite a doozey.