POSTED 8-28-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick entered a guilty plea on Monday, guaranteeing him a trip to the slammer. Football's loss is prison's gain. Some lucky federal penitentiary is going to be graced with the presence of a dog-killer, a man so ruthless he slaughtered helpless animals with his bare hands. Meanwhile, Peyton Manning will be spending his bye-week with brother Eli hunting big-game bucks, mounting antlers over his fireplace. For all the commotion and hubbub Vick's dogfighting scandal has aroused, there really isn't much difference between the two. WTF! If Peyton is as good a shot with a rifle as he is with a pigskin, then he constitutes an environmental hazard to deer everywhere. Is comparing hunting to dogfighting that much of a stretch? What chance does a deer stand against a rifle-clad future Hall-of-Famer known for his accuracy? The most unfortunate consequence of the dogfighting fallout: the NFL is robbed of one of its premier players — a star so talented and charismatic he could appear on a Wheaties box or a Madden cover. The real question here is how football players take out their aggression off the field. Roger Goodell, are you listening?