POSTED 9-4-07

There are rotisserie heroes and fantasy goats. But some performances are so ugly, egregious or plain perplexing that it begs the refrain: What the F--k! Here is Update's seriously twisted moment this week.

New York Giants Pro Bowl defensive end Michael Strahan finally ended his holdout, six days before the season opener. WTF! The future Hall of Famer and active NFL leader in sacks probably decided the summer off would benefit his mental health. After all, with his ex-wife reportedly set to receive $15 million in divorce money, he probably needed the vacation time to conjure up quick-money schemes and work on his Madden skills. Sure, he's set to make over $4 million this season, but those pesky holdout fines added up and now he owes the Giants over $500,000. If he's hard pressed for cash, he could always go back to The Best Damned Sports Show Period — that is if Tom Arnold isn't around. And that Snickers commercial was pretty funny. Strahan's teammates reportedly welcomed him back with open arms (nothing gets your teammates respect like skipping two-a-days and abandoning any pretense of conditioning). Come to think of it, a professional like Strahan probably spent his days going over video of defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo's new system. Then again, probably not.