3 — The amount of leagues that I play in.
0 — The number of leagues, barring a miracle, that I will be making the playoffs in.
Every year I play fantasy football and every year I end up wanting to rip my hair out. Worse yet, the last two years I have played in three separate leagues and I'm on the brink of leaping into the chilly Chicago River.
Being in three separate fantasy leagues for another year has taught me a couple of things. One: don't play in three fantasy leagues in the same year ever again. Two: Fantasy football is nothing but luck!
Here are my performances in each through 13 weeks. If this isn't proof that results have little to do with the actual team in fantasy, I don't know what is.
League No. 1
With a roster including Carson Palmer, Steven Jackson, Marion Barber, Braylon Edwards, Antonio Gates and Jason Witten, I own an unimpressive 5-7 record and have no chance of making the playoffs. I am actually in seventh place in a league of 10.
My favorite memories of the season have to be losing, not once, but twice by a single point thanks to seemingly insignificant last minute plays by Patriots (an interception of Palmer in Week 4 and a Wes Welker three-yard catch in Week 12). Each ended with me going to bed angry and furthered my hatred for the Pats.
League No. 2
I am sporting a 4-8 record, with six of the losses by a combined 26 points. The best part is that, through week 12, I had scored just one more total point than another guy in the league who had a paltry 10-1 record.
My team looked promising after the draft when I got the likes of Larry Johnson, Thomas Jones, Steve Smith, Kellen Winslow, Matt Hasselbeck along with the Baltimore Defense. By no means do I think that I should be dominating in this league, but you would certainly consider this a top four team in the league. Well...not so much.
League No. 3
In a league that I have been playing in for over ten years, this is definitely one of my worst. I had a poor draft, made some weak trades and have had various injury issues but with all that, I still have an outside shot at the playoffs. Go figure.
I have a .500 record with a roster of mediocre performers like Plaxico Buress, Edgerrin James, Kurt Warner, Thomas Jones and Ahman Green. Sounds like residents of an NFL old folks home now that I think about it.
To further my point, I have a close friend in this league who had what was seemingly the best draft that I have ever seen. It included: Steven Jackson, Laurence Maroney, Roy Williams, Larry Fitzgerald, Jeremy Shockey and Brett Favre. And where is he? Hovering around .500 just like me.
So, what have we learned?
1. The league in which I have a great roster in, I have no chance of making the playoffs.
2. The league in which I have an ok roster in, I have no luck and no shot.
3. The league in which I have a horrible roster, I still have a chance.
Fantasy football is equivalent to Bonnie in accounting winning the NCAA tourney pool picking teams with pretty mascots.
Now, when next August rolls around, I assure you that I will spend hours reading fantasy info, will get giddy thinking about anything football related and, sadly, I will probably find some way to get myself into a fourth league.
Why do I do this to myself?
